Ssanemax wrote: frotherPest wrote:
We also know about this thing called “Scrib” and other on-line libraries.
Wasn’t Scribd the site that also has loads of pirated miniatures gaming rules?
Is there anything you actually buy in the hobby?
He's an academic. Poets are the unacknowledged educators of the world. Professors the acknowledged tight-wads of the Universe. I vet he drives a 2CV he got free from a relative.
Hoe about advice columnists?https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/0 ... -cake.html
I had a small, socially distant party for my birthday. It was supposed to just be my brother, roommate, boyfriend, and me. But my brother brought his new girlfriend, “Emily,” and her small son without asking. Our apartment is on a busy street, and our yard is not fenced in. It wasn’t fun. We had to keep an eye on the kid so he wouldn’t run off the patio. Emily was more interested in our beer than anything else.
My roommate got me an expensive cake. She was handing out slices when Emily pushed her over and tried to take a huge slice for her son. I stopped Emily and told her to take a smaller slice, since the cake was very rich. Then I put the rest of the cake back in the fridge. I told my brother he needed to get a handle on the situation, but he just told me to chill. When they left, only my brother said goodbye to us. Then my boyfriend looked in the fridge and noticed that my cake was gone. I was pissed off and ran after my brother. They were still in the parking lot, trying to buckle up the kid. I went up to Emily and demanded she give me back my cake. First she said she didn’t know what I was talking about. Then I saw the cake box on the back seat and told my brother to give it back. Emily swore I had given it to her because “cake is for kids.” I called her a liar. My boyfriend and roommate followed me out, and my roommate went around the car and opened the door to grab the cake. Emily tried to stop her. The cake ended up on the ground. The kid started crying, Emily started swearing, and everyone went home mad. Emily claims it was an “accident,” but I believe my roommate, and she says Emily knocked it out of her hands. I want nothing to do with Emily ever again, and I am angry at my brother for bringing this witch and trying to defend her. Everyone in our family is appalled by what happened. I told him when Emily apologizes and replaces my cake from the same bakery then I will forgive her. He got angry at me because it was a $50 cake from the city. He told me I was being petty and unreasonable and that it was just cake. I don’t care. My birthday was ruined. This was the first time Emily met anyone in our family, and she got drunk and stole from me. This is a red flag if there ever was one. I don’t think I am out of line here.
I’ll happily concede that your brother should have asked before bringing two guests, one of whom was a child in need of constant supervision, to your birthday party, particularly when social distancing is still so important in preventing coronavirus transmission, and that Emily’s behavior was rude. But neither your brother’s thoughtlessness nor Emily’s rudeness justifies your own response, which was nowhere near the line. You had a number of opportunities to let something go or politely put your foot down before you found yourself arguing with a drunk woman in the street over a cake (yes, even a $50 cake from the city) while her child cries in the back seat. You have the right to decide whether someone is a guest in your home, and when your brother showed up with two strangers, you could have said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t safely accommodate surprise guests. Let’s find another time to plan a safe introduction.” But once you’ve let them in, you ought to treat them with basic hospitality, and insisting someone take a smaller piece of cake is not the act of a good host. The fact that Emily got drunk and ignored her son reflects very badly on her indeed, but if your brother was unwilling to handle it, the best response available is not “Take a smaller piece of cake, you witch,” but to tell them, politely and firmly, to leave. And escalating the situation by chasing after them doesn’t seem to have done much to make your birthday party any more fun. It didn’t even get you your cake back.
I’m sorry your party was unpleasant, and I’m sorry one of your guests took your leftovers. You have sufficient reason to dislike and distrust Emily and not to welcome her into your home again. But what if you (and your roommate and boyfriend) had let it go and focused on having a good time after your brother and Emily left? Plus, it’s a waste of your time and energy to try to persuade her to replace that cake or to grant her the power to “ruin” your birthday. Someone has to deescalate this, so unless you want to spend the next year going back and forth with your brother over whether he owes you another cake, let that person be you.